I heard a joke at work today (which was kind of surprising given the political demographic and the overwhelming preference for Fox News vice CNN there) that had me in stitches for a good five minutes. Jeremy was lucky enough to get a voice mail that consisted entirely of the joke, but those of you less fortunate will have to read it here:
On a trip to England President Bush took the opportunity to have afternoon tea with the Queen. As they were enjoying their crumpets he asked, "I'm very impressed with the quality of people in your government. How did you do it?"
She answers, "Oh it's very simple, really. We identify them as being exceptional at a very young age. For instance, when Tony Blair was only eleven years old I asked him 'If your mother gives birth to a child and it's not your sister and it's not your brother, who is it?' He promptly answered 'It's me!'"
The President sees the wisdom in this and congratulates the Queen on her cleverness. A few days later after arriving back in the states, Dick Chaney walks into the Oval Office and Bush says "Hey Dick, I got a question for you, maybe you can answer it. If your mother gives birth to a child and if it's not your sister and it's not your brother, who is it?" Dick looks thoughtful for a moment and replies "Y'know, that's a really good question there George. I'll talk to my folks and get back to you on that."
So Dick leaves the White House and heads to the State Department where he just happens to run into Colin Powell. Dick immediately asks "Say Colin, the President asked me a question that's got me stumped and I was hoping you could help me find an answer for him." Colin assents and so Dick continues "If your mother gives birth to a child and it's not your sister and it's not your brother, who is it?"
Immediately Colin answers "It's me!" Dick immediately sees the wisdom in that answer and says "Yeah, I think that's the answer he's looking for. Thanks so much, this will make him very happy." He heads back to the White House and bursts into the Oval Office and exclaims, "George, I got you an answer: It's Colin Powell!"
And Bush says, "No, you IDIOT! It's Tony Blair!"
Speaking of politics...
I've been getting really pissed off again as of late. The trusty Shiny Objects, the bills that really don't affect how the whole country is run but do a great job of distracting people from what really does matter like war and poor foreign policy, are being pulled out again just in time for mid-term elections!. Why force the House to vote on a Constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage when the Senate has already soundly defeated it unless you're just trying to get people who may have dispersed in the last year and a half to rally around the proverbial flagpole? Can't the neoconservative base notice that these issues are only being brought up in an election year, and that Bush has openly called these bills a way to run-up to the elections this year?
This makes me sick. We saw the huge impact that this blow-up (of things that should be considered irrelevant when there's a war on) had in 2004, which means that the rest of us have got to get out to the the polls in even stronger numbers. I really think that there are more of us moderate- or left-leaning voters than neo-cons, but apparently we have yet to find our own Shiny Object to rally the votes around. Apparently a situation in which thousands and thousands of people are dying isn't good enough, but letting two people who love each other (and just happen to have the same anatomy) have their union legally recognized is.
Seriously -- am I taking CRAZY PILLS?
- Crazy Pills